Broken
by Sayori-chan
Summary: The inevitable has occurred... Kikyou and Inuyasha have gotten back together. Now one question remains: can Kagome escape from the hell she has fallen into, or will she become an empty shell, wallowing in self-pity forever? (rated for Inu's potty mouth)
1. Chapter 1

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Author's Note: This is technically a songfic because I got my inspiration from the song "Broken" by Seether ft. Amy Lee (from The Punisher soundtrack). But I personally don't really like putting lyrics in the body of my story, so instead I have the lyrics that inspired each chapter as the title of the chapter they inspired. They are very important in understanding the story, so my professional advice would be to READ THEM!!! 

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A Word to the Wise: This story is an AU, and it is going to be just a little OOC for Sesshomaru. So if you don't like that kind of thing then don't read this story. I promise that if you stop reading now you won't be offended. I prefer not to be flamed by people who don't like the style in which my story is written. Everybody is allowed to have an opinion, but if it is any way rude or hurtful, then please keep it to yourself.

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Disclaimer: I own neither the Inuyasha characters nor the song "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee. I am a poor college student, and I can only allow the great works of others to inspire me.

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Secret Key Needed for Interpreting my Story: *** indicates passage of time, "quotation" marks indicate speech or dialogue, _italicized_ words are thoughts, (parentheses) are author's comments, and [brackets] indicate a change in the point of view. 

**************************************************************************BROKEN**

~ ~ Chapter 1 ~ ~

~ ~ I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh ~ ~

[Inuyasha's point of view]

As Inuyasha sat by the fire and watched Kagome, he was seized by a terrible feeling of guilt. She didn't know that anyone was watching her, so she was revealing that dark side of her that no one had ever seen. _No one except me, but she thinks I don't notice. How could I not notice?_ Well, to be perfectly honest, he hadn't noticed until tonight. But now everything seemed clear, and he was shocked and horrified by the changes he saw in her. 

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When I first met Kagome, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. And throughout the 3 years we have spent together she has just seemed to grow more beautiful. Until now. 

The flames from the campfire cast an eerie glow on Kagome's face, and for the first time Inuyasha noticed just how pale she was. She had a haunted, shadowy look in her eyes, and he couldn't even begin to fathom where her thoughts lay at that moment. _She's lost a lot of weight too… when was the last time she ate something? Come to think of it, when was the last time she slept? She's always still up when I fall asleep, and awake before the rest of us. _All of the things that he had refused to see came rushing at him, and he realized that Kagome had changed more than he had ever known.

_She only smiles very rarely, and she never laughs anymore. I miss her laugh. She was always such a vibrant, happy person, and she made the rest of us feel more alive. What happened to her?_

But as Inuyasha glanced at the person cradled in his arms, he knew what had happened. He didn't want to accept it because it caused another wave of guilt to flood over him, but he knew. As Kikyou stirred in his arms, Inuyasha smiled. He almost regretted his decision, but not quite_. I feel terrible about the pain I caused Kagome, but I had to follow my heart, and my heart chose Kikyou. Kikyou is the woman I have always loved; how could I have ever chosen anyone but her? _But at the same time he felt a little bit wrong when he was with Kikyou. _The only time I actually feel right is when I'm with Kagome, because she's always accepted me for who I am. _

Now completely unsure of himself, Inuyasha settled down uneasily by Kikyou's side to go to sleep. He glanced over at Kagome one last time: she was still sitting by the fire, staring off into the distance. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, and she looked childlike and innocent in that position. Inuyasha felt his heart wrench. But instead of going to comfort her, he just rolled over so that he wouldn't have to confront such a painful sight, knowing that he was the cause of it.

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The next morning when Inuyasha woke up, Kagome was already awake_. She's still in the same position she was in when I went to sleep last night. Did she even sleep at all? _Kikyou was awake as well, but she was still lying snuggled in his arms.She nudged him gently.

"Inuyasha," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"We need to talk about something important," she replied. 

Kikyou rose to her feet gracefully, and slowly walked into the forest. Inuyasha waited a few moments before he got up to follow her, dreading whatever she had to say. _I'm worried about Kagome; I can't be worried about Kikyou now too. _

Kikyou led him to a small clearing far away from the campsite. She turned around to face him, hands on her hips, her lovely face molded into an expressionless mask.

"I want that woman gone," she announced.

"Who? Sango?" Inuyasha asked, praying that she wasn't talking about who he thought she was talking about.

"No, the other one. My reincarnation," Kikyou responded coldly. 

"Why, Kikyou?" he asked. "What has Kagome ever done to you?"

Kikyou walked slowly around Inuyasha, trailing her fingers lightly over his shoulders and chest. She spoke sweetly, the silky tone of her voice attempting to mask the bitter poison of her words.

"I know you can see it, Inuyasha," she said earnestly. "She is fading… drifting farther and farther away from us."

Inuyasha didn't say anything, because it was true: he could see it in Kagome's eyes, though he didn't want to believe it. After a pause Kikyou continued speaking, but her voice now had a hard quality to it.

"She has outlived her usefulness to you, Inuyasha," she said. "I can see the jewel shards as well, and I am much more reliable than she is."

"But Kagome has been with us since the beginning, and I refuse to send her away," Inuyasha said softly. The truth was that he felt responsible for Kagome's condition, and he didn't want to hurt her further by making her leave.

Kikyou, sensing that she was losing the battle, began to speak again in that caressing voice. She was determined not to leave Inuyasha alone until he agreed with what she desired, and she knew that the best way to win him over would be to play on the love she knew he held for her.

"But Inuyasha, it will be better for her if she is with her family right now. Can't you see how hard it is for her to see you and I together? You must think of Kagome's feelings: I know she wants to go home, but she doesn't want to abandon you. For her own good, you must send her away."

Inuyasha wavered, believing with all his heart that Kikyou was right. He refused to even consider the fact that Kikyou might be jealous of Kagome; he trusted her and believed that she was truly looking out for Kagome's well-being. Finally, he closed his eyes and nodded assent.

"All right, Kikyou," he said. "Tomorrow we'll go back to the well and leave Kagome there. She'll get well again when she's with her family." 

"Today," Kikyou insisted.

Inuyasha was finally won over by the look on Kikyou's face: it shone with her love for him, although her eyes remained empty and devoid of all feeling. He felt his heart swell with the love he felt for this woman, so he agreed. 

"Okay, Kikyou. You win. She goes back today."

Kikyou's face gave no outward sign of the inward pleasure she felt at winning the argument. Inuyasha turned around and walked back to the campsite to break the news to the rest of the group. Blinded by his love for the dead miko, he didn't see the blaze of triumph and wickedness in Kikyou's normally-emotionless black eyes.

[Kikyou's point of view]

_Inuyasha, you always were an easily manipulated fool. I have succeeded in bending you to my will once again, just as I have done so many times before. You will send that woman away, and I will reclaim first place in your heart. Things will return to the way they should be once that pathetic excuse for a reincarnation is gone._

All pretenses aside, Kikyou was inordinately jealous of Kagome. She knew deep inside that Inuyasha's true heart had belonged to Kagome all along, but she had finally succeeded in making him believe that she, Kikyou, was his one true love. And now she had succeeded in removing Kagome from the equation. _Inuyasha is a hair's breadth away from going to hell with me. And once he does, I will finally have achieved that which I have always desired. _

[Inuyasha's pov]

The rest of the group was awake by the time Inuyasha rejoined them. 

"Good morning, Inuyasha," Miroku said amiably.

"Feh," Inuyasha snapped. "Shut the hell up." He wasn't feeling at all good about what he was going to do, but he knew it was something that he had to do. _If I don't make her go away then she might die here. But the only way I can make her go away is if I tell her I hate her and that I don't want her with me. And that's not true, is it? No, no, Kikyou's right; I must do this, for Kagome's sake. Besides, she probably wants to leave, she just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. _He made his face into a mask of hatred and disgust, then rounded on Kagome. She was just sitting there, so sad, so innocent. For a moment Inuyasha's resolve weakened, but it strengthened again when he saw the look of love on Kikyou's face as she rejoined the group.

"Get your shit together, wench, you're leaving," he said sharply. 

"Huh?" Kagome stuttered. "Leaving?" The rest of the group was shocked into silence by Inuyasha's rude tone of voice; he had never spoken to Kagome in such a manner, not even when they were fighting.

"Keh… don't you listen?" he asked angrily. "Yes, you are leaving. We're leaving for the village right now, and when we get there we're going to drop you off at the well."

Kagome's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "But why, Inuyasha?" she asked in a very small voice.

_I hope you can forgive me for this someday, Kagome. _

"Because you're getting more and more useless and unreliable," he replied. "And now that I have Kikyou, I don't need you anymore."

[Kagome's pov]

Those were the words that Kagome had been both expecting and dreading since Kikyou had begun traveling with the group. The words echoed continuously through her mind: _now that I have Kikyou, I don't need you anymore… I don't need you anymore._

[Inuyasha's pov]

Kagome didn't say a word; instead, she began gathering all of her belongings and stuffing them into her oversized yellow bag. The other members of the group, especially Shippou, glared at Inuyasha.

"What the hell are all of you looking at?" he shouted at them as he stomped away. Inuyasha hadn't seen Kikyou's triumphant smirk, but it hadn't gone unnoticed by the other members of the group.

_Kagome, right now I know it feels like your heart is going to break. But you'll laugh again, I know it. Too bad I won't be there to hear it…_

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Author's Note: Maybe this is kinda stupid, but who the heck cares?? If you liked it and want more, then please review. If not, then flame if you want, but I'd prefer if you just don't review. You know what they say: "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Constructive criticism is always welcome, of course…

XOXOXO Sayori-chan 


	2. Chapter 2

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Disclaimer: I own neither Inuyasha and company nor "Broken" by Seether ft. Amy Lee. 

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Author's Note: Wow, you readers out there are awesome!! *blushes* I never thought my lil ol' story would get such a positive response!! I really am touched, you guys are great!! I usually don't post again this soon, but you all just flattered me so much that I couldn't resist. (hint: flattery gets you everywhere…)

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~ ~ Chapter 2 ~ ~

~ ~ I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away ~ ~ 

[Inuyasha's pov]

Inuyasha stared at the well as Kagome stared at him; he was steadfastly refusing to look at her. _If I look at her I might fall victim to that pleading look in her eyes. _Shippou clung to her hand, begging her not to go, and Miroku was comforting a weeping Sango.

"Kagome, please don't leave me here with Inuyasha," Shippou pleaded. "I hate him, he's mean. I don't want him to make you go away!"

Kagome didn't reply. All she did was raise her eyes to Inuyasha's face, searching for a sign, any sign, that he wasn't going to make her leave. Her search, however, was in vain.

Shippou had come to see Kagome as a mother, and Kagome and Sango had become as close as sisters; it would be hard for both of them to not have her around. _I can't let that interfere with my decision. _

A very frustrated Inuyasha yanked Shippou away from Kagome and tossed him to the ground. 

"Let go of her, you little runt," he snapped. "We're leaving the bitch so we can get back to finding the jewel shards!"

Sango, her eyes flashing angrily, picked Shippou up and cradled him to her chest as if to shelter him from Inuyasha's wrath. Denied the pleasure of tormenting Shippou in order to vent his feelings, Inuyasha rounded on Kagome. _She's such a safe and easy target. _

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for, wench?" he shouted at her. "Get lost, we don't want you here. You slowed us down before, and you're still doing it!"

Kagome's eyes flickered with anger, but she showed no sign of responding in any way. The flash was gone as soon as it had come, and it was replaced by wounded look that almost brought Inuyasha to his knees. _Please Kagome, show me something, anything. All I want is a sign that you're going to be all right. The old Kagome would have 'sat' me at least half a dozen times for being a jackass, but not you. The new Kagome doesn't show me anything anymore. It's all my fault that you changed. _

[Miroku's point of view]

"Come on everyone, let's give them some time alone to say their good-byes in peace," Miroku said softly. 

_I've got to keep Shippou and Sango from having to see Kagome's pain any longer. If I can't save Kagome from this suffering, at least I can save the others from it. Please Inuyasha, don't do this. Use this time to apologize and make things right between you two._

But even as he wished for it, Miroku knew that Inuyasha would never back down. _He never has, and he never will_. And, with one glance at the satisfied smirk on Kikyou's face, Miroku knew why.

[Sango's pov]

Sango saw Kikyou's smirk as well. _I want to go up to her and smack that grin right off her face!!!_ But Sango knew that that would serve no purpose, except to anger Inuyasha further. _Damn! I still need Inuyasha to help me defeat Naraku. But after that, I swear on my parents' graves that I will never be that bastard hanyou's friend again. How could I, after he's caused Kagome-chan so much pain?_

Kagome, I wish I could protect you, but it's up to you now. You must learn to protect yourself, I suppose.

Sango felt the tears begin to slide down her face once more. _I'll never see my little sister again. This is the second sibling I've lost…_

[Inuyasha's pov]

_I'm so glad Kagome isn't crying, cause that would make this so much harder. It's hard enough as it is._

As Inuyasha stared at Kagome, he felt his heart soften. "Kagome, you have to go home now," he said more kindly. "You'll be happier there, without all this fighting and suffering. You belong in your own time."

"If that's truly the way you feel, Inuyasha, then I'll go home," Kagome said softly. "I just need to you to answer one question for me: did you really mean it when you said you didn't need me anymore?"

_Oh, Kagome._

"Yes." Inuyasha replied coldly. "Yes, I did."

Kagome choked back a sob. "Okay." She set her backpack on the ground and turned her back on Inuyasha. When she turned around again, she held the vial containing the fragments of the Shikon Jewel in her hand. Inuyasha held his hand out, and she handed the vial over to him. He snatched it away from her quickly, carefully avoiding making any physical contact with her. 

She smiled sadly at him. _Kagome, I wish I could save you from this pain, but I can't. Trust me, this is for your own good. I can't protect you forever, and this is the first step in learning to survive on your own. I wish I could keep you safe from harm, and spare you all pain… I wish I didn't have to hurt you like this._

Inuyasha hardened his eyes and glared at Kagome. She withered under his cruel stare, and turned away slowly. She walked to the well, and swung her leg over the side. All of a sudden she turned her gaze on Inuyasha again, and her intense eyes burned into him.

"Goodbye Inuyasha," she whispered.

Before he could reply Kagome was gone. _Goodbye Kagome. I wish I could take your hurt away, but I know you'll be better off._

Sango came running up to Inuyasha, and found him staring into the empty well. Kagome was nowhere in sight.

"She's gone, isn't she?" she asked fearfully. 

Inuyasha turned around and scowled at the taijiya. "Yea, she is, and we have to go, so don't start crying again."

"Inuyasha, how could you let her go? I didn't even get to say goodbye…" Sango shrieked as she sank to her knees. 

Shippou leapt on top of Inuyasha's head and started gnawing on his ear while screaming, "How could you do this, Inuyasha? You're such a jerk! How could you let Kagome leave like that? What's wrong with you, Inuyasha? I hate you!"

Inuyasha's eye began to twitch, and he grabbed Shippou and yanked him off his head. "I did it for her own good!" he shouted. "She's going to be better off this way. This is what's best for her!" 

Sango eyed him coldly. "You've never known what's best for Kagome, Inuyasha, and you never will." 

[Miroku's pov]

Miroku took Sango by the arm and led her away, a sobbing Shippou following closely behind. Sango began ranting as soon as Inuyasha was out of hearing range.

"I will never trust that jerk again! He's lucky I don't kill him, take the jewel shards, and hunt down Naraku alone!" she hollered. 

"I don't think Inuyasha has even realized the full implications of his actions," Miroku said calmly. "He has no idea how much he has hurt Kagome, or all of us, through his betrayal." _Inuyasha, one day you will see the truth, and I'm afraid it will shock you. Once you understand what you have caused here today, I doubt you will ever be able to face yourself again._

"Well, I for one refuse to speak to him after our quest is over. Once Naraku is dead and the Shikon Jewel is pure, I will leave and never look upon that idiot hanyou and his dead mate again," Sango vowed. "You can either come with me, Miroku, or stay with him."

"Sango, what's going to happen to me?" Shippou whimpered. "Kagome was going to be my new Momma. Now I'm all alone."

Sango's face softened, and when she spoke, her voice was gentle. "Oh Shippou, of course you can come with me," she said quietly. But her voice changed. "I would never leave you here with that bastard!"

Sango's icy voice sent shivers down Miroku's spine. "Sango, can't you understand that Inuyasha is being manipulated by Kikyou?" Miroku tried to explain. "He is confused, he truly does love Kagome, and he cares for all of us. He just can't see it."

"Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't?" Sango asked bitterly. "All he can see now is that clay woman. She blinds him, Miroku, and turns him against us. As long as she is the most important person in his life, Inuyasha is not a person we can consider our friend."

Miroku was stunned by the power of Sango's words, and by the forcefulness with which she spoke them. _Perhaps she is right. We cannot trust Inuyasha while he is blinded by his love for Kikyou. Is Inuyasha even our friend anymore?_

Miroku didn't know.

[Inuyasha's pov]

__

Now I've lost all my friends too. What am I going to do?

But at that moment, Kikyou came up and wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's waist and rested her head on his shoulder. He was comforted by her warmth and her closeness, and for a few moments he felt like everything he had done, and all he pain he had caused, was worthwhile. 

"I love you Kikyou," Inuyasha said. 

She didn't reply. Inuyasha started to get uncomfortable. _I denied everything for her. Doesn't she love me? Did I give everything up for nothing?_

"I love you too," she said softly. Inuyasha was comforted by the words. _Everything I did, I did for you Kikyou. _

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Responses: (yay!) OMG, I love you guys so much!! I was stunned when I got 16 reviews for the first chapter!! *sniffle* You guys are the best reviewers any author could ever ask for!!!!

Kittie9078654: Well, I'm not sure if this is going to be a Kagome/Naraku fic or not… I've never written one of those before. Hmmm. But don't worry, I plan on getting back at Inu and the bitch in one way or another… muah ha ha ha ha!!! Thanks for reviewing!!

Arima1: Shhhhh don't tell anyone about my psycho killing job. But yes, it does get in the way of my writing time. *sigh* There just aren't enough hours in the day to write fanfics and kill people. What's a murderer/authoress to do?! J/K, thanks for reading this one too, I'm glad you liked it!

tessie-fanfic: Thanks for the review! Here's another chapter, as you requested!

WinterBlossom/Yuki*Sakura: Thanks for the review! Your wish is my command…

Ristos: Happy endings are in the eyes of the beholders (or in this case, readers). Yes, there's going to be a happy ending if you like Kagome, but not if you like Inuyasha and Kikyou. I can't say much more without giving everything away though. Thanks for reviewing!

Kashiaga: Yay a familiar reviewer!! haha don't worry, Kikyou won't be winning for long. I'm not a huge Kikyou fan, so I'll make sure she isn't too happy by the end of the story. Trust me!! Thanks for reading and reviewing! 

ShortPoet: Another familiar reviewer, you guys are awesome! Kagome's broken heart will mend in time, so don't worry. I'm sooooo sorry it's been so long since I updated Story of Rin. I'm just extremely stuck, and I don't know how to get myself unstuck. I want to post what I have written, but it's crappy and I'm afraid of flames!! I'll try my best to un-stick myself and post chapter 11 soon. Thanks for being patient with me!

Pinayazngrl: I know, he is blind, isn't he?? As for what's going to happen to Kagome, I guess you'll just have to keep reading!! *wink* Thanks for the review!

Angel of the Black Moon: Ooh I love your pen name, it's pretty cool! Here's another chapter, just cause you were so nice about asking!! Thanks for reviewing!

Inu-Aisuru: I'm not giving away any pairings yet, so you'll just have to keep reading to find out! I'm glad you liked my story… it's a little angsty, but I find that drama is easier to write than comedy. For me, anyway. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Prissy: Thanks for the review! I hope you like where I'm going to take the story, and I hope you keep reading!!

Dante Gemini: Thanks for reviewing! I live to serve, so here's another update!!!! I promise to read and review your stories as soon as I get the chance. Ugh, finals…

Rachael: I'm so glad that you liked this story!! I was really surprised at the positive reaction it got, so I'm hoping that everyone continues to like what they read. Thanks for reviewing!

swimchick1614: Yes, Kikyou is still dead, but her and Inuyasha have still gotten back together. (ew) I don't like Kikyou much either, so don't worry, she won't win!! I'm not telling pairings yet though, cause I love surprises! (ah, cliffies… such suspense!) Thanks for the review!

Ultima: *blushes* Thanks! I'm really glad that you think my story is great! Thank you so much for the review!

Shiranai Yukino: Aww, please don't cry. It's a sad story now, but I promise it'll be all right in the end. But a warning: it's going to get worse before it gets better… No, it's not a one-shot. Hmmm, I just might kill Kikyou off, that's a good idea! Thanks! 


	3. Chapter 3

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Author's Note: This chapter and the next are going to be a little short, but I promise all of the other ones are going to go back to normal length or longer. Please don't flame me about the shortness of chapters 3 and 4, I'm doin the best I can!!

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Disclaimer: I own Inuyasha and co. I know, I know, I'm way cool! You all are jealous aren't you? Oh… wait… no I don't. My bad.

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Another Secret Code: 'single quotation marks', a.k.a. apostrophes, signify that annoying inner voice that talks to you and tells you right from wrong. Thank goodness I don't have one of those… 

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~ ~ Chapter 3 ~ ~

~ ~ I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well ~ ~ 

[Kagome's point of view]

When Kagome had returned to her own era, she had tried going to school for a while, but it was no use. She couldn't draw herself out of her depression, so she withdrew and completed high school through independent study. (**A/N: **I don't know if they do this in Japan, but we do it here in America, so there ya go. Call it artistic license…) 

_It's been six months since I went back there… six months since I've seen Inuyasha._ Kagome was sitting under the Goshinboku tree; she sat there for hours on end, day after day. She moved only to go inside and sleep, which was rare, or to eat when someone forced her. Come to think of it, when was the last time she had actually eaten anything? Kagome didn't know, nor did she care. She didn't eat much, she didn't sleep much, she didn't even speak much anymore. Her friends Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi had called her for a while after her return, but after a few months of unreturned calls, they got the hint. Kagome didn't want to do anything except sit under the tree, and the only company she wanted was the company of her memories.

_I miss you guys so much. _Kagome stared at the Polaroid pictures in her lap. They had been taken a month or so before Inuyasha brought Kikyou to join them, during the times when they had all still been happy and together. _I remember how fascinated you all were by the idea of a box that spit images out._ Kagome almost smiled at the pleasant memory. Almost. 

She shuffled through the photos: Sango and Kirara… Sango and Miroku, with an innocent look on his face… Miroku with a bright red slap mark on his cheek. Kagome paused, feeling a little bit happier remembering the good times they'd had, then continued looking. 

Shippou laughing… Shippou eating chocolate… Shippou sleeping curled up on Kirara's back… Shippou chewing on Inuyasha's ears._ Inuyasha. _

Then came a whole stack of pictures of Inuyasha: Inuyasha screaming at Kouga… Inuyasha sulking in a tree… Inuyasha eating ramen like a pig… Inuyasha proudly holding up Tetsusaiga… Inuyasha staring at the sunset with an uncharacteristic look of peace and thoughtfulness on his handsome face. That one was Kagome's favorite. _It's so unlike the Inuyasha I saw for the last time at the well. He's so full of life here. But then Kikyou came and he turned cold. Oh Inuyasha, what happened to you?_

But Kagome knew what had happened to Inuyasha. She hated having cruel thoughts towards other people, but Kikyou tried the limits of her patience. _I hate that woman! Why did she have to come back and change everything? Kikyou, you stole everything that truly mattered in my life. You took away the one thing I loved, the one thing that seemed to give my existence meaning. Do you know how much you have hurt me? Do you even care?_ Kagome doubted it. She drew her blanket closer around her shoulders, shivering. 

Kagome picked up the knife that had been sitting beside her in the grass. For the thousandth time, she tried to bring herself to shred the pictures, but just couldn't do it. She wasn't ready to sever the ties with what had once been the happiest, most meaningful times in her life. _These pictures are all I have left of you, Inuyasha. I can't destroy them… not yet. _

She stared at the silvery steel blade, watched as it reflected light from the setting sun. _This knife is looking kinder and kinder as time passes. _Then, once again, she rolled her sleeve up and stared at the flesh of her arm. It was crisscrossed with slashes; they painted brilliant crimson streaks from her wrist to her elbow. _I promise this is the last time. _'You said that last time, Kagome.' _But this time I mean it. _She drew the tip of the knife down the skin of her forearm repeatedly, leaving thin, deep gashes that oozed blood. Kagome closed her eyes and swallowed the pain, glad that for a moment she was feeling pain somewhere other than inside her heart.

"Kagome, please come inside," Souta called from the porch. "Mom ran you a bath, and she says you need to eat something."

She hurriedly dabbed the blood from her arm with the corner of the blanket and rolled the sleeve of her sweatshirt back down; she didn't want anyone to see what she had done to herself. Kagome glanced at the sky, suddenly realizing that it had grown very dark outside. After gathering all of her belongings into her arms, she slowly stood up. She walked dazedly into the house: past her little brother, her grandfather, and her very-concerned mother. 

"Kagome, I ran you a…" Mrs. Higurashi began. Her voice faded, however, when Kagome continued walking upstairs to her room. She didn't even act like she had heard her mother speak.

When she reached her bedroom she slammed the door shut, locked it, and flopped down onto her bed. Noticing that the blood had soaked through the sleeve of her sweatshirt, Kagome stripped her clothes off and put on a long-sleeved black shirt and a pair of baggy black pajama pants. She carefully slipped her necklace off and placed it in a china dish on her desk. The tiny Shikon shard glimmered in the faint light of the desk lamp. _Inuyasha would kill me if he knew that I kept this. But I couldn't simply let go of everything I love. It's just not that easy. I had to have a way back, Inuyasha. I hope you understand._

She spread the photos out once more, staring at them. _Well, Inuyasha, at least I have these pictures to remember you by. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but they serve their purpose well._ Kagome crawled into bed, returning the stack of pictures to their place under her pillow. She tried to drift off, but knew deep down that sleep would evade her once again tonight. 

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Responses: (yay!)

Arima1: *blushes* Aww thanks, you're so sweet! And I'm glad you don't mind the fact that I'm a psycho killer. Oh yea, and if I don't talk to you tomorrow, then remind me to tell you about my AWESOME weekend. I don't think I ever told you about it. *sigh* Allan is sooooo hot!!! (heh heh heh) Thanks for reviewing, you're a great friend. Love ya!!!!

Jammies2000: oooh you read my mind! I was actually considering bringing Inuyasha back in present-day, even though I hadn't originally planned on it. What do you think? Would that be too predictable? Please let me know! I loved your idea, of course it's not stupid! Hehehe I love angst/guilt too, and that's why I wanted to bring him back!! Thanks so much for the suggestion, and for reviewing!

Tessie-fanfic: I'm sad that I almost made you cry cause I don't wanna be the cause of it, but at the same time I'm happy cause it means that you like my writing. But I still don't want you to cry… Thanks for the review, I hope you like this chapter as well!

Rushyuo: HAHA I know, he is a stupid idiot, isn't he?! But don't worry, he'll get what he deserves. *wink* Thanks for reviewing!!

Inu-chan's luver: YES! Lol Thanks for the review!!

Defafaeth Mechqua: Your review made me laugh so hard!! It does seem like he's a few cards short of a full deck. Maybe it IS cause he's a hanyou… Thanks so much for the review!!!

CAPTAIN33: *blushes* Oh my gosh, you are so sweet!! I'm glad that you found inspiration in my writing. That's the greatest compliment any author could ever ask for. Let me know if you do end up writing a story inspired by mine, cause I will definitely read it!! You're AWESOME!! Thank you very very much for the review, it totally brightened my day! 

WinterBlossom/Yuki*Sakura: hehehe I was very amused by the idea of killing Kikyou off as well. Glad you enjoyed that! It would give me so much pleasure to write that… lol. I guess I just like imagining all the ways in which she could die!! Thanks for reviewing!

Therealultima: You wanna know what's messed up?! People who use reviews as a way to communicate to other people. I was so excited when I got your review, but then I read it and realized that it wasn't even directed at me. It didn't even concern the story at all! Please, for future reference, if you need to say something to someone, say it directly to them. That way you won't get my hopes up. *sniffle* I guess I should be thankful that you read my story at all, but I just wanted to tell you that it hurt my feelings a little. But thanks for reading!! (I hope you liked the story)

Pyro: *wink* To find out what's gonna happen next you're just gonna have to continue reading!!! Inuyasha really is a jerk, isn't he?! Thanks for the review!

Kay Kylo: I know, I know, this story is really angsty. My editor is hating me for making her read it cause it makes her sad. But I just can't seem to stop writing the stuff!!! I'm glad you liked it anyway, though! Thanks for reviewing!

Moonlight-angel2003: Aww it's a crying face!! T_T. I'm glad that I did a good job on the angst, but please don't cry, it makes me feel guilty!! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Pinayazngrl: He IS a big idiot!! I guess he is just blinded by love… but it's sad that he has to hurt Kagome. Wait, why am I complaining? I wrote it!!! I'm glad you liked the story, and I hope you like this chapter as well!

Swimchick1614: It's kinda gross to think that he's in love with a dead girl, but what can ya do. There's no accounting for taste, I guess. Lol. Here's an update, just for you!! Thanks for the review!!!

KeWl_AzNeYeS: Thanks (I think)! Lol. I'll take it as a compliment since sad is what I'm aiming for!!! Thank you for reading and reviewing!!

LilacRose23: It's okay, you can beat Kikyou to dust! I think that would be funny as heck!!! And you totally read my mind about the good things that should happen to her!! Don't worry, I fully intend to make it up to Kagome!!!!!! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm sooooooo glad that an author whom I admire likes my story!! @_@

ShortPoet: *wink* Just between you and me, you're right on with your idea!!!!! Shhh don't tell anyone!!! I love angst and drama too, so Inuyasha and Kikyou will be getting what they deserve. But I also love happy endings, so Kagome will be happy again by the end. You're awesome, and I'm lucky to have a reviewer as great as you!!

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	4. Chapter 4

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Author's Note: There is no time passing between chapters. Chapter 4 begins right where chapter 3 left off, except from a different point of view.

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Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. End of story.

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~ ~ Chapter 4 ~ ~

~ ~ I wanna hold you high and steal your pain ~ ~

[Kagome's mom's point of view]

When Mrs. Higurashi had first laid eyes on her daughter after her return from Feudal Japan, she had literally been stunned into silence. She washed the dinner dishes slowly, remembering every minute of the day of Kagome's return. 

__

~ ~ Flashback ~ ~

__

Kagome stumbled out of the well-house and wandered dazedly into the house. Mrs. Higurashi, pleased by her daughter's unexpected return after so many weeks gone, ran up to greet her. She stopped short, though, when she caught sight of the look on Kagome's face. Mrs. Higurashi drew back in horror, instinctively recoiling from the anguished aura surrounding Kagome; the pain and tension was a palpable presence in the air. She tried to gather her daughter into her arms for an embrace, but Kagome just stared blankly at her. Kagome was lost in a world consisting of her own inner pain, and she had yet to find her way back to the world of the three-dimensional people.

~ ~ End Flashback ~ ~

From that day on, Kagome had refused all physical contact; she wouldn't even hug her beloved younger brother Souta.

__

She looked like she was dead: her skin was pale and she had lost a lot of weight, but the worst part was her eyes. I'll never forget that haunted look in her eyes. It's a look that mothers never want to see, especially not when it's in their child's eyes. No mother should ever have to see their baby reduced to the state Kagome was… is in.

Mrs. Higurashi had wanted to ask Kagome what had happened in the Feudal Era to make her so sad, but she had hesitated. "It must be something to do with that boy Inuyasha," she had thought to herself. "Kagome will tell me all about it when she's ready, but right now the pain is still too fresh. We'll talk about it in a few days when she's feeling better again." Unfortunately, Kagome hadn't been better after a few days. Hell, Kagome wasn't better after a few months. And Mrs. Higurashi felt that it was long past time she did something about the state her daughter was in. Kagome obviously couldn't cope on her own, and Mrs. Higurashi felt compelled to re-involve herself in her daughter's life. _I can only force her to eat for so long. She'll have to learn to live again on her own, but I don't know if she can do that. She has to want to live again, and I don't know how to re-teach her that._

Mrs. Higurashi finished washing the dishes and then tucked Souta into bed. But she was still preoccupied with Kagome and the complicated dilemma she found herself faced with. _I want to help but I don't know how._ She tried to go to sleep, but found it difficult to sink into that blissful oblivion; her mind was still too active. So instead she decided to go downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. _Maybe tea will help me think of a way to help Kagome. _

Mrs. Higurashi walked into the kitchen, but instead of going to the stove she sank into a chair and buried her head in her arms. She began sobbing uncontrollably. _Kagome, I wish that I could take your pain into myself and suffer in your place. It's so hard for a mother to see her baby this way and not be able to do anything about it. I would do anything to not have to see that agonized look in my child's eyes._

[Kagome's pov]

A sleepless Kagome wandered into the kitchen in the middle of the night to make herself a cup of tea. She was expecting a dark and empty room, but was instead confronted by a disturbing sight_._ She held herself back so that the sobbing person at the table wouldn't catch sight of her._ Mom is… crying?! Why is she crying? _But then her mother whispered a word that brought the young girl understanding: "Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi whispered in a trembling, sorrowful voice.

Kagome snuck back up the stairs and slipped quietly back to the safe shadows of her bedroom. _Mom's crying over me? Why? What did I do? _Kagome knew what had made her mother cry, but she had misunderstood the reason behind the tears; her assumed knowledge didn't comfort her. _Mom, sometimes I think that if I just went away it would be better for you all. Maybe you guys would be happier without me… just like Inuyasha. _

Kagome drew the knife out of its hiding place under the mattress of her bed. She stared intently at it, its razor-sharp blade glittering in the moonlight. _Maybe you would be better off without me. I promise, Mom, one day soon you won't have to worry anymore… I won't cause you any more pain._

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Author's Note: Some of you have expressed… displeasure at the cutting scene of last chapter. Well, all I can say is this: if you have ever had any experience, personal or otherwise, with self-mutilation, then you will understand how perfectly it fits. As someone who has been in the exact position Kagome is in, the only thing I can tell you is that when you're in that much pain you don't care about anything other than relieving yourself of some of the suffering. Physical pain is much easier to cope with than emotional pain, and for a brief moment they cancel each other out. I feel that self-inflicted wounds are as addictive as any pain-reliever, because that is essentially the purpose they serve. (Keep in mind that I speak from my own experience. Other people may have different things to say. I'm just trying to rationalize it for you. It wasn't some tear-jerker nonsense I put in to depress you all.)

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Responses: (yay!)

Jammies2000: I think that Inuyasha hurt her too much for them to ever go back to the way things were between them. But who knows. Maybe they will end up getting back together. And yes, Kagome either has to go back or Inuyasha has to come get the shard. *wink* It's a way for me not to have to fully end things between them indefinitely. P.s. Somehow I think you're right about things not lasting with the clay doll!! Thanks for reviewing!

WinterBlossom/YukiSakura: Yup, Kagome is a cutter. Do you think that's too hard to believe?? Just curious… And OOC Sess-chan will probably be showing up here in the next couple of chapters!! YAY!! Thank you for reviewing!

Madin-of-tv: *stares wide-eyed* Eep?! Here's an update, so please don't kill me!!! Lol Glad you liked the story, thanks for the review!

Swimchick1614: Yea, Kagome can still go back. But who knows if that will make any difference to that baka hanyou?! Thank you for the review!

Pinayazngrl: *nods head* Inuyasha is certainly a moron, for sure. He might realize his mistake, but who knows. Maybe someone else will enter the picture and heal Kagome's wounds (both physical and emotional.) I'm so glad you luv the story!! Here's an update, just for you!

DraGonMistress704: Hell yea, when you beat up Kikyou I totally got your back!! I agree, she needs to die. I'm thinking of all the wonderful ways I can kill her off… LilacRose23 thought up some awesome ones!! Thanks for reviewing!! 

Moonlight-angel2003: Yup, Kikyou is a stupid clay pot. But don't worry about Kagome, I promise to make it all up to her by the end. She shall have her revenge!!! Muah ha ha ha!!

Animekidd1: *blushes* Of course you can use it in your future stories!! I don't think your story was pathetic, I liked it a lot. I think you did a great job on it. Thank you so much for the review!!

ShortPoet: You are my hero cause you always seem to understand how and why I put things in my stories. A lot of people have complained about the cutting scene and how it doesn't fit and how it's just dumb, but you understand!!! Yes, I plan to use it later in the story with you-know-who!! Advice is always welcome and appreciated, especially when it's as good as yours always is. Thanks for understanding my writing!!

Tessie-fanfic: Yup. It is sad, isn't it? It happens far too often in real life too, in my opinion. Thanks for reviewing!

LilacRose23: I myself have also been in Kagome's situation, so the feelings I write for her have actually been mine at one point in my life. Thank you so much for understanding it (a lot of people don't, and have been complaining about it). As for killing off Kikyou: OMG I loved your ideas!! Especially the acid rain one… my roommate and I cracked up for days after reading that! Thank you for reviewing, the fact that you and ShortPoet understood this chapter really made me feel better. You guys are awesome!!


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Summer is coming (yay) but that means that my updates are going to become erratic at best. I don't have Internet at my house, but I'm trying to make arrangements with a friend to use hers. Who knows. I apologize ahead of time to any unhappy readers, but I hope you all understand and don't hate me forever. Love you all, have a great summer!!!

Information: Don't forget that 'apostrophes' mean an annoying inner voice like a conscience.

Disclaimer: All I own are the clothes on my back, and my mommy bought those for me… so maybe she owns them and I actually own nothing. BooHoo!

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Chapter 5

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

and I don't feel right when you're gone away

( next day)

[Kagome's point of view]

The next day, Kagome's mom entered her room to wake her up. Kagome was actually sleeping, which was one of 2 very surprising things. The other surprising thing was that Mrs. Higurashi was waking her up; usually her mom just let her sleep.

"Kagome, honey, wake up!" Mrs. Higurashi said cheerfully.

Kagome flung the blankets over her face.

"Too early, Mom," Kagome muttered sleepily.

"It's not early, dear," Mrs. Higurashi replied. "It's past 10:00 already, and I'm making your favorite meal for supper. But I don't have everything I need, and I would like you to go to the store for me."

Kagome sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. Suddenly she realized that her mom was back to normal: gone was the despair and the tears of the night before. Her voice was cheery, and she was all smiles, as usual. _Why can't she go to the store herself? Why the hell is she bothering me?_ Kagome caught the selfish thoughts before they changed into words. 'Kagome, stop being a spoiled brat. Your mom has done nothing but care for you in every way for your whole life, and even more over these past six months. The least you can do is go to the store for her without complaining.'

Kagome got out of bed, and her mom greeted her with an enormous hug. She stood still, neither protesting the gesture nor responding to it; she simply stood there, as still as a statue. When her mom left the room Kagome went to the bathroom for a shower, and then got dressed. She walked slowly downstairs, where she was greeted by surprised stares from Souta and Grandpa. _I guess they weren't expecting me to be up and dressed. _She scowled at them, and they quickly looked away. Her mom turned around and looked her over.

[Souta's pov]

_Gosh, Kagome looks awful. She hasn't been up in months, but today she actually got showered and dressed. She used to be so pretty, and I guess she's still pretty now, but not in the same way. I love her and all, but she looks dead. She doesn't play with me anymore, or ask how school is going, or even yell at me and fight with me. She won't tell us what's wrong, but I know something happened with Inuyasha. I wish he would come and make everything better, cause I miss the old Kagome. I want my sister back, Inuyasha, what did you do to her?_

[Mrs. Higurashi's pov]

_Lately Kagome's taste of clothes has been running towards the bleak and depressing._ Mrs. Higurashi examined her daughter: she was wearing black tennis shoes, a pair of black jeans, and a black shirt with a short black trench coat. _Why the jacket? It's been very warm outside lately._ _And why all the black? Sure, black is slimming, but Kagome's so skinny that she doesn't need it. It just makes her look thinner and more pale._

She smiled as she handed Kagome a grocery list and some money.

"Enjoy yourself, dear, and don't be too long!" Mrs. Higurashi called after her daughter.

_Hopefully this outing will remind Kagome that there is a world out there. Perhaps it will remind her that she misses being a part of things, and perhaps it can inspire her to live again._ _Then again, maybe I'm hoping for a little too much._

[Kagome's pov]

Kagome squinted her eyes as she walked outside into the bright afternoon sunlight. _Why can't it be cloudy out here? At least that would have reflected my mood… all this sun just depresses me even more._

She wandered through the busy streets of Tokyo, carefully making her way through the crowds of people. She was jostled this way and that; nobody seemed to see her, and if they saw her they didn't care enough to avoid her. They just kept on trying to walk through her, as if she wasn't there. _What am I, invisible? _All of a sudden she was shoved violently to the ground, temporarily blinded by the pain of a collision into her jawbone.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" an angry male voice shouted at her.

Kagome picked herself up off the ground, gingerly assessing the damage done to her face. A bruise, nothing more_. Wonderful. Now I'm invisible and abused. This day could not get any worse._ Thankfully, Kagome saw the grocery store and ducked inside, escaping the masses of people. She grabbed a basket and unfolded the list of items she needed to buy. Wandering up and down the aisles, Kagome gathered all of the items on her mother's list until she found herself facing something she just couldn't handle.

_Oh God_. Kagome sank to her knees, suddenly weakened. _Ramen. _It seemed so stupid, but it reminded her of Inuyasha so strongly that she was flooded by a wave of pain that she just couldn't bear. For the first time since her return to her own era, Kagome began to cry. Once she started crying she couldn't stop, so she just sat there on the floor of the grocery store, sobbing uncontrollably.

_Why, Inuyasha? Why did you betray me like this? I can't even go to the grocery store without being haunted by your memory, and it's not fair. I needed you and you left me alone, and now I miss you. God, I miss you so much, Inuyasha. I'm so lonely without you, and I can't stand the emptiness I feel inside._

People walked past Kagome as she sat there weeping. None of them stopped, none of them asked her if she was okay. They all just looked sympathetically at the young girl crying on the floor, and then looked away. Suddenly Kagome felt trapped in the store; she could no longer stand the sad stares of strangers. _I've got to get out of here. _She got up and ran out of the store, leaving her groceries behind her. She ran blindly all the way home; she flew inside, up the stairs and into her bedroom.

[Mrs. Higurashi's pov]

When she had sent her daughter out that morning Mrs. Higurashi had been hoping that it would help Kagome reestablish contact with the outside world. But one look at her daughter's bruised and tear-streaked face made her realize her mistake. _I shouldn't have pushed her. She just wasn't ready yet._

With a sigh she gathered up her purse and left to go to the grocery store.

[Kagome's pov]

Kagome scooped a blanket and her pictures into her arms, then stomped down the stairs to go sit under her favorite tree. As she sat there, she thought about Inuyasha and everything that had gone on between them in the past. Staring up at the branches of the Goshinboku, she began to speak to Inuyasha as if he could hear her through the 500 year barrier.

"Through all the good times, and even the bad times, I was happy with you, Inuyasha. And I thought you were happy with me. But then you brought Kikyou to stay with us, and I knew that you had never been happy with me. I was always just a shard-detector to you, but I wanted to be so much more. I loved you, Inuyasha, and I can't bear the pain of losing you."

For the second time that day Kagome began to cry. "I miss you, Inuyasha. That's really all I can say. Nothing feels right anymore, and I don't think I can go on without you. Maybe things would be better if I… wasn't here anymore, but I don't think I can go through with it. I can't stand the thought of being gone and never having the chance to see you again, but I can't take any more pain either."

_Maybe I really am a coward, but I can't bring myself to commit suicide. Sure, I want to, cause then I wouldn't have to face his memory every day, haunting and tormenting me. But to take my own life, knowing that Inuyasha's demon blood would prevent him from joining me in the afterlife? To know that I'll never see him again or get the chance to tell him how I feel? Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll take my chances in the land of the living._

Kagome spread her blanket out and laid down upon it, staring up into the sun-kissed branches of her favorite tree. _Inuyasha's tree_. It was warm outside, and Kagome started to take her jacket off. She remembered the cuts on her arm just in time, however, and slipped it back on.

"I'm so lonely here without you, and my world feels empty since you're not in it. I just feel so confused, Inuyasha. I wish you were here."

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Van-D: OMG you reviewed!! I'm sending you an email with some Inuyasha history in it, and hopefully that clarifies things for you. If not, let me know and I will try to help some more. So did you like it?? Hope so!!

DraGonMistress704: Of course I forgive you! I was kind of upset by your comments cause I didn't really understand where they were coming from. What did you mean by I misquoted you? If there's something wrong with something I said then I would really like to know so I can fix it. Let me know, and in the meantime I hope you enjoy this chapter. (It's longer than the last one, just for you!! wink)

Nina: Thanks! Sad is what I'm going for, so that's a great compliment!! Hopefully you like this chapter as well. But yea I'm working on 2 fanfics right now, and I might be starting another one soon. I just have so many ideas!! :D Thanks for the review!

Kashiaga: Yea, I've been in a position similar to Kagome's as well. I guess some people just deal with pain in different ways. I know people who react like Kagome did, and I know people who just got over it and were better. Anguish can do some strange things to ya though, that's for sure! Thanks for reviewing!

Megu-sama: Here's an update, just for you!! Thanks for reviewing!

Pinayazngrl: wink You read my mind! Don't worry, someone is going to come along and help Kagome out of her depression. I'm not sayin who it's gonna be, but they'll be entering in the next few chapters!! P.s. Thanks for killing Kikyou, it saves me a lot of trouble!! Lol Thanks for the review!

Swimchick1614: Here's a new chapter… It's longer, that's for sure, but I don't know if it's better than the last one. Thanks for reviewing!

Jammies2000: Oooh that's a really good idea! I think I'm going to figure out a way to put that into the story a little later on. Thanks for the suggestion!! I don't know if they'll end up back together, but I'll be sure to give them some closure eventually. Thank you so much for reviewing!

Moonlight-angel2003: Yea, I've been in a similar situation to Kagome's. But it happened a long time ago, and that's all in the past now. I've moved on and gotten better, and now I'm writing about it happening to someone else!! I think maybe authors are some very strange characters themselves… wink Thank you for the review!

ShortPoet: I agree about looking into the face of death. Sometimes a person needs to linger on the edge for a while before they can be drawn back into the three-dimensional world. It helps clarify things, and I think it makes you appreciate things more. I love Kagome's mom! I just had to put her in here cause people rarely write anything cool about her. I'm glad you liked her as well. She reminds me a little of my mom… sniffle You're awesome, and I hope you like this chapter as well. Thank you so much for reviewing!

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That's all for now, everyone! You guys are great, and I really appreciate all the wonderful feedback you've given me. My reviewers are truly my inspiration. Until next time, I hope you enjoy… and **PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

XOXOXOXOXO Sayori-chan


	6. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I'm going against my vow not to put lyrics into the body of my story, but I guess it can't be helped. I don't own the lyrics, and they aren't lyrics in the story. They're poems that Kagome is writing. I'll include the title of the song that I used at the end of the chapter.

Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!! I OWN THE INUYASHA CHARACTERS!! I ALSO OWN THE SONG "BROKEN" BY SEETHER AND AMY LEE!! MUAH HA HA HA HA!!! lawsuit appears out of nowhere and lands on Sayori-chan's head Damn

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Chapter 6

You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore 

(no time has passed, it's about 1:00 in the afternoon)

[Kagome's pov]

All of a sudden Kagome had a blinding epiphany: _If I finally tell Inuyasha how I really feel about him, maybe he'll leave Kikyou and come back to me. Perhaps it's wishful thinking, but it's worth a try! _She dropped her stuff and ran to the well house, dragging her necklace out of the collar of her shirt as she did so. She vaulted over the side of the well with a speed that contradicted her weakness, and was encased by a brilliant light as she emerged from the well in the Feudal Era. As a dark shadow crossed her line of vision, Kagome realized that she had been met by the one person she didn't want to see: Kikyou. Kagome hid her necklace under her shirt collar. _Kikyou can't know about my jewel shard!!_

"What are you doing here?" Kagome stammered.

"I had a feeling you would come back here today," Kikyou replied. "After all, you are my incarnation. We share a soul, remember?" She curled her lip in disgust. "Apparently we are connected in more ways than our shared love for Inuyasha."

Kagome didn't respond, but she really didn't have to. Kikyou kept right on talking in a saccharine voice, speaking the venomous words with a sweet tone that belied her true intentions. She brought her cold hand up to touch Kagome's cheek; her touch was like the icy fingers of death brushing across Kagome's skin. All of a sudden she pressed her fingers into the bruise on Kagome's jawbone, causing her to jerk away in pain. Kikyou simply laughed.

"I know how you are feeling right now," Kikyou said softly, pacing around a motionless Kagome. "You must miss him terribly. I know I wouldn't let him go that easily, and that must be why you're here. But you must know something: Inuyasha is happy where he is… he is happy with me as he could never have been with you."

The next words she spoke were accompanied by a triumphant smile as Kikyou shifted her hakui away from her neck.

"He marked me, you see. We are now mates in truth, and Inuyasha is happier than he has ever been. I make him happy, Kagome. He doesn't need you anymore… I don't know if he ever did."

Kagome saw the fang marks marring Kikyou's porcelain skin at the juncture where her throat met her collarbone. _It's true. Inuyasha doesn't need me anymore. _She turned blindly and leapt into the well again, followed by Kikyou's triumphant evil laugh. As the light from the well dissipated, Kagome sat at the bottom in shock. _Inuyasha, how could you do this to me?_ _I thought maybe it was all a mistake, that you loved me after all. But I guess not. You really do love Kikyou._

As she climbed out of the well, Kagome's weakness returned to her and she felt drained; she could barely muster the strength to walk to the Goshinboku and lie down. Even though her pain had grown a hundred fold, Kagome felt relieved after her visit to the Sengoku Jidai. _I know now that I'm no longer a part of Inuyasha's life. He either doesn't know or doesn't care how much his decision hurt me. Kikyou has returned to him, and now they can regain the time stolen from them by Naraku. Now that he has Kikyou back Inuyasha doesn't need me anymore._ Kagome gave a bitter laugh. _Hell, he doesn't even want me anymore. He doesn't miss me like I miss him._

All of a sudden Kagome felt inspired. She trudged into the house and grabbed her black notebook off her desk, then walked slowly back outside to write. Sometimes writing made her feel better. It helped her sort out the junk in her head, and in a way it gave her a handle on reality. _Writing keeps me sane, helps me fight my way through the darkness._

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay  
Forever haunted, more than afraid  
Asphyxiate on words I would say  
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue  
  
There are no flowers, no not this time  
There'll be no angels gracing the lines  
Just these stark words I find  
  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak  
Just how much this hurts me  
  
I cannot stay here, I cannot leave  
Just like all I loved, I make believe  
Imagine hard I disappear   
Seems no one will appear here and make me leave  
  
There are no flowers, no not this time  
There'll be no angels gracing the lines  
Just these stark words I find  
  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak  
Just how much this hurts me  
  
I'd tell you how it haunts me  
I'd tell you how it haunts me  
I'd tell you how it haunts me  
You don't care that it haunts me.

_These are my words to you, Inuyasha. Words that you will never hear._

She drew her knees up to her chest and sat there for a while, a marble statue, childlike and innocent, yet at the same time wounded by life's cruel pain and hardships. Kagome leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes, only vaguely acknowledging the heat of the bright sun shining on her face. She was so lost in her own mind that she didn't hear the footsteps approaching. All of a sudden the warmth was gone from her face, so Kagome opened one eye and glanced at the figure now blocking her sunlight. _Who the hell is this, and why can't everyone just leave me alone?_

"Excuse me," a deep male voice interrupted her thoughts. "Is this the Higurashi shrine?"

Kagome's heart leapt in recognition. _I think I know that voice!_ She squinted her eyes at the man standing before her, but she couldn't get a good look because the sun at his back cast shadows across his face. What she could see made her breath catch in her throat: tall, muscular build, long silver hair. _Inuyasha?_

"Kagome?" the voice asked.

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Author's Note: Oooooh who could it be?? Only ShortPoet knows for sure!!!! And she's not telling! I guess you all will just have to wait for the next chapter. By the way, the song was "This Time Imperfect" by AFI. It just fit so perfectly that I couldn't resist putting it in. I don't own it, but I do have their cd!! (and it's awesome)

Responses: (yay!)

Arima1: Well gurl, I've missed talking to you as well. But the semester is over and I won't have as much time to spend online in the afternoons. I'll try to get on for a little while each day, and if I can't then I'll be sure to get online at night and email you or something. Glad you liked this chappie. Love ya!!!

Angelic Little Devil: I love your screen name!! Thank you so much for the compliments, they really touched me. You're very sweet and I'm glad that you liked my story. Thanks for the review!!

Crystaltears41090: Tell your friend that it's one of my favorites too. I thought that it fit very well into an Inuyasha fic, so here it is!! Hopefully when you finish reading you'll like it!! Thanks for reviewing!!

Swimchick1614: Don't worry, she won't go through life sulking, and she certainly won't kill herself. But I have to bring her to the very point of "drowning" before I throw her a metaphorical life raft. Ya know what I mean? Thanks for the review!!

Kirei-kitsune13: Here's another update for ya!! Thanks for reviewing!!

DraGonMistress704: You know, I might just have Kagome punch the crap out of Kikyou. I hadn't thought if it before, but it would totally serve her right. What did you think of this chapter?? I made Kikyou REALLY bitchy in this one… I wanted to punch her out myself!! Thank you so much for still reading and reviewing my story!!!

MichelleAnneSummers: You'll just have to wait to find out what happens next!! But since the last few chapters have been kind of slow I'm going to start having more interesting stuff happen. Thanks for the review!!

Pinayazngrl: Okay I just have to ask, what does your screen name mean? Is it short for something? I've been dying to figure it out, but I can't. Please tell me!! Kagome's rescuer came in briefly this chapter, but he'll be there more next chapter. And don't worry, Kagome will start getting her revenge soon!!!! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

ShortPoet: The ramen scene actually made me cry while I was writing it!! It's true: the littlest, dumbest things can just bring it all back like it happened yesterday. The human mind is funny like that, I think. I wish I could write poetry, cause if I could then I would write some for this story. But sadly I have no poetry talent. I've tried, and it all sounds crappy in my opinion. I think I am going to expound on your idea though… I might email you later on and tell you about it to see if you like it!! I'm actually working on sweet-talking my mom into getting me the internet for my house. She's seeing how much I'm getting into the whole writing thing, and I've almost got her convinced!! So who knows, I may be able to update more often than I originally thought. Thank you so much for reviewing, you're great!!

Jammies2000: The person she bumped into was just a person on the street. He's not going to come back into the story at all, I just put him in to express Kagome's loneliness a little bit more. It's like, even strangers aren't being kind to her anymore, so that depresses her cause she feels more alone than ever. Well, since you asked, there was a little bit of how Inuyasha has been feeling in this chapter. He's not in it, but Kikyou's right: he's totally over it and moving on. Sad, huh? But don't worry, he'll regret his decision soon enough!!!!!! Thank you for the review!!

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As always, see you all next time, and until then **PLEASE REVIEW!!! **

p.s. Was anyone too terribly upset by the song lyrics in the story?? I was thinking about doing some more and incorporating them into the plot somehow, but if you all hate them then I won't. Please please please let me know what you thought!!!

XOXOXOXO Sayori-chan


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: ducks from all the stuff readers are throwing Wow you guys, I am sooooo sorry that this chapter took me so long. A lot of junk happened over the summer (including having no internet for like 3 months), and I recently had a nasty break-up. So needless to say I have been feeling decidedly uninspired. But here's chapter 7, at long last, and I hope you all enjoy it. I promise that I will go back to semi-regular updates. (Semi-regular because finals are coming up and I have a new job. But hey, I promise I'll do my best)

Disclaimer: 1-2-3-4 I don't own it, I am poor. 5-6-7-8 I rhyme when I stay up late.

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Chapter 7

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

Kagome's point of view

The mysterious figure extended a hand to help Kagome stand. As she took it she vaguely noticed the sharp claws, but was preoccupied with trying to recognize her strange visitor.But as the figure turned to face the light, recognition dawned and Kagome's muscles tensed as she prepared to flee.

"I am not here to kill you," a cold voice said. "I would not have wasted my time if that was all I wanted from you."

"Well then, what do you want, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked fearfully. _What if he just wants me to put my guard down? I'm helpless out here, he could just kill me and disappear. Oh man, what am I going to do?_

Right as Kagome was going to attempt another break for it, Sesshomaru began to speak, and this time it was in a very different tone.

"For the first time in 500 years I find myself plagued by a curiosity of which I cannot rid myself. Unfortunately, the only remedy for a condition such as this is to satisfy the curiosity." Here Sesshomaru paused, and Kagome thought she heard him utter the smallest of sighs. "I want you to tell me the story of your life," he said.

Kagome was taken aback. "You… what? You want me to tell you the story of my life? Why… What for?"

Sesshomaru scowled at her. "This Sesshomaru will not explain himself to the likes of you, human."

"Well, maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe you're a jerk, and I don't have to tell you anything." With that Kagome turned her back on Sesshomaru and stubbornly crossed her arms.

"I command you to tell me what I wish to know."

Kagome, eager to satisfy her own curiosity, finally relented. "Hmph. All right, Sesshomaru. I'll talk to you. Where do you want to go?"

Sesshomaru simply turned around and walked towards downtown Tokyo. Kagome sighed in exasperation. _Lead the way, I guess. _She helplessly followed along behind him, not really paying attention to where she was going. Sesshomaru suddenly stopped, and Kagome was surprised to find herself standing in front of a small, out-of-the-way coffee house. Sesshomaru walked inside and sat down as if entering restaurants was a common occurrence for him. _Wow, he's changed a lot since the Sengoku Jidai. I have to keep reminding myself that he's survived all these years, and so he must have adapted to life in the 21st century._

The pair walked up to the counter, and Sesshomaru ordered a cup of tea. He moved aside so that Kagome could order, but Kagome couldn't make up her mind.

"I'll have a… no wait… I want… well… I don't know…ummm…oh!… wait, no…" she mused. Sesshomaru arched one eyebrow and gazed pointedly at the indecisive Kagome.

"Okay, okay. I guess I'll take a vanilla cappuccino, decaf, with extra vanilla, and no whipped cream, but add caramel, and I want chocolate sprinkles on the top," Kagome finally decided.

Sesshomaru did not look pleased. As the confused cashier turned to make Kagome's drink, she interrupted. "Wait, do you have cinnamon?"

Sesshomaru scowled down at her. "Geez, never mind I guess," she muttered. Kagome was shocked when Sesshomaru, without a word, turned to pay the cashier for their order. _Did Sesshomaru just treat me to coffee?_ Kagome silently giggled at the incongruous idea of Sesshomaru taking anyone, especially her, out on a date. Her enjoyment of the moment was spoiled, however, when Sesshomaru picked up his own beverage and left hers on the counter. He walked to a booth in a darkened corner, and Kagome grabbed her coffee and followed behind him.

Sesshomaru settled himself down into the booth, and Kagome slid into the side facing him. He wrapped his long fingers around his teacup and gazed impassively at the girl, but he didn't drink. She sat there for a minute, uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny, before she remembered the purpose of their outing.

"Okay, well, the story of my life," Kagome began in a monotone voice. "I was born in Tokyo, and when I was 7 my brother Souta was born. When I was 10 my father was killed in a really bad car accident. Now I live with my mom and my brother and my grandpa, in a shrine…"

"That information is irrelevant," Sesshomaru interrupted sharply. "I am more interested in the events occurring after your entrance into Feudal Japan."

Kagome was taken aback, and not only by his characteristically-rude interruption. "You want to know about all that? But… some of it is kind of personal, and boring, and you really wouldn't be interested in all that junk. Let's talk about something else…" She trailed off at the sight of Sesshomaru's determined face. She sighed, resigned to her tale.

"All right, well, one day when my cat Buyo ran away, I chased him into the well-house of our shrine…"

(about 2 hours later)

"…and now that I'm back in my own time I can't get Inuyasha out of my head. It's like he's always beside me, reminding me of how miserable I am. I can't eat, I haven't been sleeping, and whenever I close my eyes I see his face. It's been awful, and the worst part is that I know that he doesn't return my feelings. He never did. He's happy now with Kikyou, and I'm no longer a part of his life, and that's just the way things have to be. But that's not how I wanted them to be."

With these last words a single tear slid its way down Kagome's bruised cheek. She didn't really know why she was telling Sesshomaru, of all people, her deepest feelings, but she was. _Here I am, sitting in a coffee shop, telling Sesshomaru about how betrayed I feel, and how badly his younger brother hurt me. Why is he so easy for me to talk to?_ She dared to glance up at Sesshomaru's face, and was surprised to see something reflected in his eyes. _Is that… sympathy? No, it couldn't be. Not Sesshomaru, the Ice Prince._ And as soon as she had seen it, the glimmer of feeling in Sesshomaru's eyes was gone, vanished into the cold, dark recesses of his demon heart.

Suddenly aching for a subject change, Kagome cleared her throat. "So Sesshomaru, what have you been up to for the past 500 years? Whatever happened to Jaken and that cute little girl you used to travel with?"

Sesshomaru's gaze turned stony. "She died," he said shortly. Kagome's miko abilities, although they were limited, warned her of a subtle change in Sesshomaru's aura. It had suddenly turned darker, more angry. Worried that her question had offended the demon lord, Kagome nervously cleared her throat again and began to stand.

"Thanks for the coffee Sesshomaru, but it's getting dark, and I really should go home now," she said.

Sesshomaru gracefully rose to his feet. "I will accompany you back to your home," he said.

"Oh, you don't have to bother. I'll be fine," she replied quickly.

"I am not asking you, I am telling you," he said sharply. Kagome jumped slightly at the commanding tone, painfully aware of the fact that he towered over her.

Sesshomaru walked to the door of the coffee shop and held it open, silently waiting for Kagome to follow. He closed the door behind her, and the pair walked back to Kagome's house without speaking to each other. Kagome was too preoccupied with her own thoughts to be bothered by his silence. _He's changed, but then again he hasn't. _She remembered him holding the door for her, and paying for their drinks. _Those are very gentlemanly things to do; totally not Sesshomaru! But he's still rude, and arrogant, and cold, and distant. So he hasn't really changed much at all. But still, something about him is different._

Before she knew it they had arrived back at the shrine. Kagome, unsure of herself, turned to face Sesshomaru. On a sudden impulse she grabbed her pen and a piece of paper out of her pocket and quickly scribbled something on it. She pressed the paper into Sesshomaru's hand before he could react.

"This is my telephone number. Give me a call sometime, I guess. It was really nice talking to you, Sesshomaru," Kagome said. And the funny thing was that she actually meant it. For the first time since her return from Feudal Japan she had enjoyed herself, in spite of the fact that she had been with Sesshomaru, talking about Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru glanced briefly at the paper in his hand and Kagome cringed, expecting him to throw it away right in front of her face. But, to her great surprise, he folded it neatly and put it into his pocket. Without a word he turned abruptly and left.

Kagome watched his retreating back for a few minutes before she fully realized what she had done. _I just gave Sesshomaru my number!_ And the thought of him actually calling her sent her straight over the edge. She began to laugh at the ridiculous situation, and didn't stop until she couldn't breathe. It felt good to laugh again.

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**Responses: **(yay!) You guys are awesome, and I fully appreciate the positive feedback you've been giving me. muah I love you all!!!

AlixMM: Here's an update!! Thanks for reviewing!

Joey: yup, here's an update. I know the chappie is kind of short, but more is on the way. Thanks for the review!

LadyAkina: hahaha Painfully horrible death for Kikyou: noted! Would eternal torment and suffering work too? Lol Thanks for reading!

Mish-sernity: Sorry about not updating for so long. I know, I hate it when authors do it and I swore that I would never ever do it, but I did it and I apologize. I will update more often now, I promise. Thanks for reviewing!

Inuyasha-Freak15: I'm so glad that you luv my story!! Here's an update, hope you like it!! Thanks for the review!

The Spiked Dragon: HAHAHAHAHAHA yes, your idea was slightly psychotic, but I loved it anyways. Especially the part about burning her like firewood… sorry, I'm a pyromaniac!!! Lol Thanks for reading!

Jammies2000: Awww I'm so glad that you are still reading and enjoying my little story. Here's an update, and I hope you like this chapter as well. Be sure to let me know! wink Thanks for reviewing!

Cool Cat 96: Sowwy, but it's not Inuyasha. It could have been, but it isn't. Hope you're not too disappointed. Thanks for the review!

Madin-of-tv: Thank you so much for telling your friends to review my story!! I really appreciate it. I am not, however, frightened of you because I have a large knife/sword collection of my own. Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! But here's a new chappie so you don't have to worry about killing me. Lol Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Playette: I know, I hate it when authors go on hiatus and leave me with a terrible cliffhanger! But oh well, the waiting is over now. Let me know what you think of the new chapter ok? Thanks for reading! P.s. I promise to check out your fic as soon as I get a chance.

Dark Miko Kagome: Oh hooray, somebody who was rooting for Sess-chan! I'm glad, because most people wanted it to be Inuyasha. But I agree, I'm too mad at him to forgive him and let him have Kagome. Lol. Thanks for the review!

KharmaSmack: Not only do I love your screen name, but I love your idea too. You pretty much took the ideas right from my head! Lol But I love writing angst, so don't get your hopes up for an end to the angst. From now on things in Kagome's world will start to look brighter though, so don't worry. Thanks for reviewing!

MichelleAnneSummers: Here's an end to your waiting! Let me know what you think of this chapter too. Thanks for the review!

Kittie9078654: lol Thanks for the compliments! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Thanks for reading!

Kawaii Saki-chan: blushes Am I on your faves list?! Aww well, thank you very much, I'm flattered. Yea I agree, a gothic Kagome is a little too out-of-character for me. It's fun, but still. Lol Thanks for liking my story!!!

Pinayazngrl: Lol okay, now I understand the screen name. Thanks! It's Sesshomaru! What did you think? Were you expecting him or Inuyasha? Let me know what you think of this chapter, okay? Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you're still going to read my little fic!!

PJ: hmmm good question. I don't think that she would live again just because she and Inuyasha became mates. He's a dog demon, and dogs don't mind dirt and bones… lol. Oh, and don't worry, Inuyasha will definitely get what's coming to him! wink Thanks for the review!

Kirei-kitsune13: lol The waiting is over! Here's an update for ya! Let me know what you think. Thanks for reviewing!

Rushyuo: blushes Speechless readers are ALWAYS a good thing!!! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Thanks for reviewing!

Swimchick1614: oh hehehe It's not Inuyasha or a reincarnation… it's Sesshomaru!! I hope you aren't too disappointed that it's not Inu. Thanks for the review, and I hope you liked the chapter!

Tessie-fanfic: I'm glad that everyone didn't mind the lyrics too much. I know I said I wasn't going to use any, but those ones seemed to fit too well for me to leave them out. Hope you enjoy the update!! Thanks for reading!

ShortPoet: OMG I am desperately hoping that you didn't lose interest in the story during my long hiatus. Yea, I agree about the cat fight think, and I don't think that Kagome would actually do it. Kagome always struck me as one of those sweet-and-innocent girls until you set them off, and then one of the woe-betide-he-who-pissed-her-off kind of girls. But not in a violent sort of kick-your-ass way, more of a slow-and-careful-exact-my-revenge way. You know what I mean? lol Unfortunately I didn't get internet over the summer… my mom got into a car accident so we had to buy a new car and couldn't really afford the internet. sigh Oh well, crap happens, and now I'm back at school. BLESSED HIGH-SPEED!!! Lol Thanks for the review, and I hope you're still reading.

DraGonMistress704: Oh man, don't get me started on hot goth kids! There was a brutal hottie in Hot Topic the other day when my roomie and I went to buy tongue rings. I was like 'stand still and let me stare at you, please!' But anyways, can't get side-tracked on the oh-so-delectable guy who works at Hot Topic. Lol I'm glad you liked the story, and I hope you like this chapter as well. Thanks for reviewing!


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